E10. Rest, Renewal, and the Art of Leadership

Boi Carpenter

Welcome to the Inquisitive Leader podcast. My name is Boi Carpenter, and I’m truly honored to have you here. Over the years, I’ve had the privilege of wearing many hats—visionary, advisor, strategist, a leader of large-scale teams, and, more recently, an executive coach. It’s a journey that has spanned over thirty years and has taught me countless lessons about leadership, personal growth, and the power of community. Today's episode is about rest and renewal.

Boi Carpenter

I mean, we all know it’s important, right? But if you’re anything like me, actually committing to wellness routines can feel like, ugh, another thing on the to-do list. But here’s the thing: wellness isn’t just a nice-to-have for leaders. It’s foundational. It’s the thing that gives us the energy, the clarity, and, frankly, the stamina to show up for our teams and ourselves. I red this recently—leaders who focus on their physical, emotional, and mental wellness can manage themselves better and lead their teams more productively. And, you know, that tracks with my own experience. When I’m not taking care of myself, everything feels harder. I get snippy, I lose focus, and I start to feel like I’m just treading water.

Boi Carpenter

But let’s be real—why is it so hard to stick to these routines? I think the biggest barrier is, well, us. Our habits, our routines, the way we’re wired to just keep pushing. Sometimes, it’s almost like we’re afraid to slow down because we think we’ll lose momentum. But self-awareness is the key here. If you can get honest with yourself about how you’re feeling—physically, emotionally, mentally—you can start to recalibrate before you hit that wall. I’m not saying it’s easy. I stray from my intended path all the time. I’ll set up a plan, and then, you know, life happens. But I try to give myself grace and just pull myself back when I veer off. It’s not about perfection. It’s about progress.

Boi Carpenter

I want to share a little story. Every year, I try to take a self-guided retreat. It’s not fancy—sometimes it’s just a week at a bed and breakfast, sometimes it’s a staycation. But I block off the time, pack my bags with books and journals, and, most importantly, I put my phone in a drawer. The first time I did this, I was coming off a period of serious burnout. I was exhausted, short-tempered, and honestly, I was starting to resent the work I used to love. That week away, just being with myself, planning my days loosely, letting myself rest and reflect—it was like hitting the reset button. I came back with new ideas, more patience, and a sense of clarity I hadn’t felt in ages. So, if you’re listening and you’re feeling that edge of burnout, I can’t recommend it enough. Even if it’s just a few days, it can make all the difference.

Boi Carpenter

Now, let’s talk about rest as a strategy. I recently read this book called “Time Off” by John Fitch and Max Frenzel, and it really challenged the way I think about productivity and rest. We’re taught to believe it’s either-or—you’re either working hard or you’re slacking off. But what if it’s both-and? What if rest is actually a critical part of being productive and creative? The authors talk about cultivating a “rest ethic,” not just a work ethic. That hit me. I mean, how effective is our work ethic if we’re running on empty, with no enthusiasm or creativity left in the tank?

Boi Carpenter

One of the things I took from the book is the idea of structured time off. It’s not just about taking a vacation and checking out. It’s about being intentional—like planning technology breaks, or setting aside time for vision board planning, or just letting yourself be curious and explore new ideas. I’ve tried this myself—blocking out a morning to just think, no email, no phone, just a notebook and a cup of coffee. And, you know, sometimes nothing happens. But other times, I get these flashes of insight that I never would’ve had if I’d just kept grinding away.

Boi Carpenter

There’s this quote in the book, paraphrasing Aristotle: “Without leisure, we become a society without big ideas.” That really stuck with me. I remember a time when I was stuck on a big project, just banging my head against the wall. I finally forced myself to step back—took a walk, listened to some music, just let my mind wander. And wouldn’t you know it, the breakthrough came when I wasn’t even thinking about the problem. It’s like, sometimes you need to let your brain breathe so the good stuff can bubble up. I might be oversimplifying, but I think there’s real science behind that. Rest isn’t just a break from work—it’s part of the creative process.

Boi Carpenter

So, how do you actually design a personal retreat that works for you? I get this question a lot, and honestly, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. But I do have some practical advice. First, pick a location that lets you relax. It doesn’t have to be far—sometimes just getting out of your usual environment is enough. Decide on your budget and your timeline. Even three days can make a difference. Pack what you need—books, journals, comfy clothes, whatever helps you unwind.

Boi Carpenter

Once you’re there, set an intention. What do you want to get out of this time? Write it down, even if it’s just a few words. And, please, don’t overschedule yourself. I’m guilty of this—I’ll make a list of all the things I want to do, and then I end up more tired than when I started. Leave space for rest, for reflection, for just being. One thing that’s helped me is practicing somatic awareness—just checking in with my body, noticing how I feel, and letting that guide my day. And, oh, set boundaries. Put your phone away, let people know you’re unavailable, and give yourself permission to disconnect.

Boi Carpenter

I want to share one more story before we wrap up. I’ve learned a lot about self-compassion from parenting—sometimes more than from any leadership book. My daughter has this way of reminding me that it’s okay to be messy, to not have all the answers, to just be present. There was a day when I was beating myself up for not getting everything done, and she just looked at me and said, “Mom, you don’t have to be perfect.” That hit me. As leaders, we carry so much responsibility, and the expectation to be at our best all the time is just unrealistic. Sometimes, the most powerful thing we can do is give ourselves a break—literally and figuratively.

Boi Carpenter

Alright, that’s it for today’s episode. If you take one thing away, let it be this: rest and renewal aren’t luxuries—they’re necessities for sustainable leadership. Try a retreat, even if it’s just a weekend. Give yourself permission to pause. And remember, progress, not perfection. I’ll see you next time on Inquisitive Leader, where we’ll keep exploring what it means to lead with curiosity and heart. Take care.