E2. Don't Worship the Worry

Boi Carpenter

Welcome to the Inquisitive Leader podcast! My name is Bowie Carpenter. I am a visionary, advisor, strategist, and executive coach, bringing over twenty-nine years of professional experience as an individual contributor, manager, and leader of large-scale teams. I'm also the creative architect of this podcast.

Boi Carpenter

It's such a pleasure to welcome you into the Inquisitive Leader community.

Boi Carpenter

Today's episode is focused on providing you with tools for managing anxiety and cultivating resilience in the face of worry.

Boi Carpenter

You know, there’s this phrase my daughter shared with me recently that—really—it just stuck. She said, “Don’t worship the worry.” Honestly, those four words carry so much weight. They were a reminder that worry can become more than just background noise—it can take the driver’s seat. I mean, think about it. How often do we let our worries take center stage? We can focus on them so much that they start to feel... sacred? Almost untouchable?

Boi Carpenter

And when that happens, we lose perspective. Worry, if we’re not careful, becomes a kind of paralysis. It clouds our judgment, drains our creative energy, and pulls us away from what really matters. It’s exhausting, right? Yet, somehow, we think if we just keep thinking about a problem—or fixating on a challenge—it’ll magically solve itself. But that’s not how it works, is it?

Boi Carpenter

This is especially true in leadership. I mean, as leaders we’re pulled in so many directions. There’s so much out of our control. But when we hyper-focus on those things—when we let worries dictate our energy—it distracts us from meaningful action. It’s like trying to build a sandcastle while the tide’s coming in. You’re just, you’re just not going get anywhere. And that’s when we need to shift our attention.

Boi Carpenter

So, what do we do? We identify what’s within our control. We grab hold of it and redirect our energy there. Ask yourself, “What’s the highest and best use of my time?” That’s a powerful question. It’s one my coach asked me a few years ago, and it’s been a game changer. Really, just asking that—“What’s the highest and best use of my time?”—it forces you to pause and prioritize. And when you do, the noise starts to fade, and you see what actually matters.

Boi Carpenter

One of my favorite tools for this is the Eisenhower Matrix. It’s simple but, oh, so effective. Picture a grid where your tasks are divided into urgent and non-urgent, important and non-important. The idea is to focus on what’s both important and urgent—or even just important. The rest? Delegate it, delay it, or let it go entirely. It’s ruthless prioritization, but honestly, sometimes ruthless is what we need, right?

Boi Carpenter

When we shift from worrying to acting on what’s within our control, amazing things start to happen. Our energy becomes focused, our decisions clearer. We’re grounded in what we can do, not drowning in all the what-ifs. And that, my friends, is how we reclaim our power as leaders.

Boi Carpenter

So, once we’ve kind of identified what’s in our control, the next step is to reshape how we see the challenges that cause us anxiety. And this is where adopting a growth mindset is such a game changer. Dr. Carol Dweck wrote this fantastic book called “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success,” honestly, it completely shifted how I approach not just leadership challenges but everyday life.

Boi Carpenter

Dr. Dweck’s premise is that growth comes when we embrace obstacles as opportunities for learning and improvement. You know, instead of seeing a challenge as something that could go wrong, you flip the perspective. It’s asking yourself, “What could I learn from this?” or even better, “What’s the strategic opportunity here?” It’s subtle, but that shift—it's powerful.

Boi Carpenter

And you don’t have to wait for a crisis to flex this reframing muscle. It’s a mindset you cultivate daily. For instance, instead of asking yourself, “What might go wrong?” try, “What could this teach me?” or “How could this situation make me better?” I mean, just taking that step to reframe—it’s proactive instead of reactive, and suddenly, anxiety starts losing its grip.

Boi Carpenter

Now, this doesn’t mean dismissing challenges or sugarcoating them. It’s about being strategic. It’s about taking control of the narrative in your head and turning moments of worry into stepping stones for growth. Really, the question becomes, not “What do I fear?” but “How do I use this to grow?” That’s the heart of the growth mindset.

Boi Carpenter

And, once you can reframe challenges like this, it opens up space for practical tools that keep you grounded. Techniques that help you leave the noise behind and stay present in action.

Boi Carpenter

Alright, so we’ve shifted our focus to what’s within our control, and we’ve reframed challenges as opportunities with a growth mindset. Now, let’s talk about some practical tools that help us stay grounded in those moments when anxiety tries to creep back in. It starts with mindfulness.

Boi Carpenter

Mindfulness is one of those things that gets talked about a lot, but it’s not always clear how to translate it into daily leadership, right? So, here’s one approach I really love—the 4-7-8 breathing method. If you’ve never tried it before, it’s simple but so powerful. You breathe in deeply for four seconds, hold that breath for seven, and then exhale slowly for eight. Repeat that a few times, and suddenly, the chaos in your head starts to quiet down. It’s like hitting the reset button, even if just for a moment.

Boi Carpenter

For me, mindfulness also means carving out non-negotiable quiet time. And I know, I know—our schedules can feel impossible to adjust. But even five or ten minutes in the middle of a hectic day, just sitting in silence or taking a quick walk outside, can make a world of difference. The key is disconnecting—minimize distractions, turn off notifications, and really commit to that time for yourself.

Boi Carpenter

What’s amazing is how these small practices ripple into our leadership. When we can quiet the noise, we show up more present, more attentive, and more capable of navigating challenges. It’s not about ignoring problems—it’s about grounding ourselves enough to respond thoughtfully instead of reacting impulsively.

Boi Carpenter

Now, I want to acknowledge something that doesn’t always get enough airtime in conversations like this: Sometimes worry and anxiety go beyond what mindfulness or framing can manage. There are medical conditions that amplify anxiety, and getting professional support is not a weakness—it’s leadership in action. Knowing when to seek help, whether through therapy or other interventions, is about taking care of yourself so you can, in turn, take care of others.

Boi Carpenter

At the end of the day, what mindfulness gives us is a way to tune back into the present. And from that present moment, we can lead—it’s as simple, and as profound, as that. So, here’s my challenge to you: What’s one small action you can take to stay present today? Maybe it’s a breathing exercise, a mindful break, or even a moment to just reflect before making a decision. Whatever it is, lean into it consistently, and let it guide you.

Boi Carpenter

And with that, my friends, we’ve come full circle. This journey from worry to action—it’s not a straight path, and it doesn’t have to be perfect, but it’s worth it. On that note, we’ll end for today. Keep asking the questions, keep growing, and keep leading with purpose. Until next time, take care.